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Changing Course Newsletter: Issue 24

Date: Jul 30, 2001
Subject: Changing Course Newsletter: Issue 24

Changing Course Newsletter
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Issue 24 - July 30, 2001
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Brought to you by Changing Course
http://www.ChangingCourse.com Dedicated to helping you:
~ Live Life on Purpose
~ Work at What You Love
~ Follow Your Own Road


Barbara Sher, author of "I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It
Was," calls Changing Course "wonderful, inspired and informative."

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QUOTE FOR THE DAY
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"Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it
you can."
~ Danny Kaye



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FEATURED ARTICLE: Can You Stop Worrying Please?
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Deborah Brown

Are you a worrier? Would you like to stop?

The reason we worry is that we have a situation in front of us and we
are scared that it won't work out. We are afraid that we will make the
wrong decision (again), fail, or look bad in front of others. This fear
keeps us from seeing a way out.

In addition, you get something out of worrying. As long as you worry,
then you don't have to do anything about what's troubling you. If some
outside thing is happening to you, then you don't have to take any
responsibility for how it happened. Plus, you get to blame whomever you
please and you get to be right.

If you could only trust that it will work out and that you will be able
to handle whatever comes your way, then you could put your worrying
behind you and focus on something more positive instead.

So how do you stop worrying? See the list below:

1. Acknowledge That You Are Worried.

Sometimes, we will tell ourselves all sorts of crazy things so we don't
have to admit that we are worried. This only works against you. How can
you expect to get past your worry if you can't even admit that you are
feeling it?

2. Take A Deep Breath.

It's amazing how much better we feel when we start breathing again.
Worry tenses up our bodies until we are in a state of panic. Sure
adrenaline will get you going, but isn't there a healthier way? Take a
few deep breaths and watch the worry float into the air.

3. Let Go Of The Outcome.

If things work out in the end anyway (and they usually do) then what you
are doing to yourself in the process is a waste of your energy. (Unless
you enjoy giving yourself a hard time.) This is key. You get past
anxiety by letting the universe do what it has planned. Go with the
flow. You will be a happier person in the process.

4. Have Fun.

Your world does not have to be about doom and gloom just because you are
facing a situation that you are unsure of how it will turn out. Go out
and have fun. You deserve it even if you don't feel that you do.

5. Say Nicer Things To Yourself.

Sure you can blame yourself for worrying or for getting into a
particular situation in the first place, but is this the best use of
your time? Positive thinking will clear your mind and bring freedom into
your life. It will also clear the way to finding a solution.

6. Reach Out To Others.

If you are going to worry, don't do it by yourself. It's nice to have a
shoulder to lean on. Plus, you can get perspective so much quicker if
you just reach out to others. And, you might even find out that your
problem is not as bad as you thought.

7. Take Action.

Once you take steps toward finding a solution to what you are worrying
about, you will have power and control back in your life. It may not be
easy to take the next step when you don't know what that next step is,
but it is better than taking no steps at all. Small steps take you to
the next step, which takes you closer to a solution. And, you will feel
better.

So, put your worry behind you and have a great day!


Deborah Brown is a noted personal coach and motivational speaker who
supports people in removing obstacles so they can reach their goals and
surpass their dreams. In 90 days, Deborah has helped clients locate
careers they love, find intimate relationships, and have their needs met
by family, friends, and co-workers just by asking. Having a life you
love starts when you believe you can. Visit
http://www.surpassyourdreams.com, write to info@surpassyourdreams.com or
call 212-586-0787.


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INSPIRATION TO FOLLOW YOUR BLISS
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Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off
of your goal.
~ Henry Ford

I was taught that the way of progress is neither swift nor easy.
~ Marie Curie

Someone's opinion of you does not have to become your reality.
~ Les Brown



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IN THE LIVE YOUR DREAM STORE
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Find lots of great products to help you Live Your Dreams at the Changing Course Store at http//www.changingcourse.com


ROAD MAP FOR YOUR DREAMS Valerie's booklet, 10 Steps to Escaping the
Job World and Creating the Life You Really Want may be just what you
need to put you on the track to a richer more rewarding work/life. Even
if you don't order a darned thing, I invite you to read Step One of the
10 steps at http//www.ChangingCourse.com/articles/



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VAL'S PICKS AND PONDERINGS
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Part I: This week I have two picks for you...

About a year ago I received a call from Ray Simon. Ray had just
published a book called Mischief Marketing: How the Rich, Famous, &
Successful Really Got Their Careers and Businesses Going and (How You
Can Too).

The book is for people who lack money or connections - just as Steven
Spielberg, Benjamin Franklin, Mother Teresa, Michael Moore, Coco Chanel,
Harrison Ford, and the many others featured in the book once lacked
money or connections. It was just featured in Entrepreneur magazine
among Editor's Picks under Basic Marketing.

Since so many of us must start our little enterprises on shoe string
budgets, I was happy to add Mischief Marketing to the Live Your Dream
bookstore (http//www.ChangingCourse.com/bookstore.htm) Before you buy
the book, I've just learned that Ray is offering readers the option to
download the on-line version for FREE. Just go to
http://www.mischiefmarketing.com/online_book.html

If you do decide to take advantage of this opportunity, Ray does ask you
to consider donating a dollar or more to help keep them going so they
can bring the book to others. Your contribution is optional but is a
nice way to give a little in order to get a lot.

My second pick involves funding sources. I came across a listing of
grant-making foundations that may be of interest to any of you either
currently involved in a non-profit organization or who are
thinking about somehow making some positive impact on the world.

You'll find links to the "biggies" like the W.K. Kellogg Foundation and
the Rockefeller Foundation (actually there are three different
Rockefeller-related grant-making foundations) as well as many lesser
known ones. For example, the Arthur M. Blank Family Foundation "supports
programs and organizations that create opportunity, enhance self-esteem
and increase awareness about cultural and community issues among young
men and women."

Then there is the Benton Foundation. It "seeks to shape the emerging
communications environment and to demonstrate the value of
communications for solving social problems. Through demonstration
projects, media production and publishing, research, conferences, and
grant making, [the foundation] takes on the critical questions for
democracy and the information age." Sounds like some potential there for
some enterprising soul!

The entire list can be found at:
http://dmoz.org/Society/Organizations/Grant-Making_Foundations/


Part 2: A bit of pondering on possibilities...

It never ceases to amaze me how many fascinating ways there are to earn
a living. Take Jenny. Jenny is a part-time clown. What she loves about
her work, she says, is "bringing laughter and smiles to lives." How many
of us can say we do that every day?

Jenny's goal is for her part-time business to one day be full-time.
That's a pretty common goal for we "changing coursers." What I found
so interesting was how she was going about achieving it. Jenny told me
she was working on her CBA. "What's a CBA?", I asked. Certified Balloon
Artist of course! Honing her craft will allow Jenny to expand into
decorating with balloons.

Jenny has also caught the wave of having multiple income streams by
looking into doing some freelance writing - something she says she can
do from Happy Grams Gifts & Delivery, the store she and her husband run
in Iola, KS. (http://www.iolaweb.com/happy)

If there is such a thing as getting certified in balloon art, just
imagine the other possibilities out there just waiting for someone with
a passion to find them. Could that person be you?



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A FELLOW TRAVELER ON THE ROAD TO RIGHT LIVELIHOOD
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Journey to the Undiscovered Country

Lionel Fisher

In January of 1994 I moved - I mean really moved. I, my old dog Britt
and an iguana named Mel. "Gone to the Beach," read the change-of-address
notice I tucked into my greeting cards that Christmas: "I haven't
retired, just retreated. This year I stopped the world and got off. On
Washington's North Beach Peninsula, about a mile from Oysterville. Drop
by for a beer if you're in the neighborhood. If I'm not home, check the
beach. I'll probably be walking the dog."

Yes, indeed.

Surfside is a far smaller place than anywhere I'd lived before:
minuscule, nondescript, inconsequential alongside Portland, Miami, New
York, Chicago, San Francisco, Manila and Hong Kong, my former cities of
residence before this galactic leap of faith.

It's a reclusive place, the last knuckle on a rain-scoured finger of
land lapped by the beige waters of Willapa Bay and the gray Pacific,
wrapped by khaki sands and olive clouds, except in summer, when the sky
is the color of washed denim. Here, wind and water lean on the land,
thrusting a constant coolness from across the sea, buffing the stars at
night to an awesome brilliance.

In the crowded cities where I'd always lived, I was one of those people
who had always sought himself in others, shunning my own company as if
it were diseased, cramming my life with activities and people in search
of the person I wanted to be, yet never searching in myself, always in
others.

But the time came when I desperately needed to narrow my quest, to
return, in Doris Grumbach's words, to "the core of myself, to discover
what was in there, no matter how deeply hidden." To see if the things I
could give myself were better than what I'd sought from others, to put
my life on an even keel and keep it there, to wake up each morning with
the day the same as I'd left it the night before.

And so I rose and went to my Innisfree. To a snug little house, not of
wattles and clay in a bee-loud glade as in Yeats's poem, but where the
murmur of sea on sand lulls my gimcrack spirit.

Yet, on the morning after my precipitous move, I wrote in my journal:
"Took our first walk on the beach, me and Britt. Had a scared, hollow,
desperate feeling inside me the whole time. I'm lonely today - for the
crowded city and all the people I've purposely fled. I have to keep
reminding myself why I did it, that nothing is forever. Paths ventured
on can be reversed. God, I sound like Hamlet."

Another entry, later that first day: "It's an afternoon like the one
when I first saw this house - cold and somber, a gloomy rain mottling
the leaden surface of the canal below. But it seemed peaceful to me
then, comforting and picturesque. Today it just seems grim. What if I'd
rented that townhouse on the Willamette in downtown Portland instead of
sinking everything into this godforsaken wedge of sand? How would I feel
right now, watching the rain falling on the river in Portland? Probably
worse because I'd have abandoned a dream. I know the changes I have to
make aren't geographical, they're inside me. But can I bear to be alone
long enough to make them?"

Anxiety, Kierkegaard affirms, is the dizziness of freedom.

Iguana Mel and faithful old Britt loved the beach right off. Most days
of our first summer there together, Mel could be found gazing out a
living room window, following the sun and dreaming, no doubt, of bright
green love.

Britt, however, lasted only until the fall. She was a very old dog and a
cherished friend who deserved her last bright season drowsing in
sun-warmed sand, but I wished that she could have been with me for one
more summer. Six days after she died, I drove to Portland and returned
with a twelve-week-old Australian Shepherd named Buddy Holly Fisher.
That's the name I scrawled on the American Kennel Club papers I never
mailed because I wound up spending the registration fee on a bottle of
scotch to toast the rest of our lives together. I could do without
people, I quickly found out, but not having a dog by my side would be
intolerable.

And so we've lived these past six years - one writer, one lizard, one
pup - in a snug little house by a canal, a stroll away from the tawny
sands of the blue Pacific. It's what I had dreamed of for a very long
time. But here, now, could I survive the dream?

Former journalist Lionel Fisher is the author of Celebrating Time
Alone: Stories of Splendid Solitude. He also writes a self-syndicated
column, "SINGLES SCENE: The Art of Being Alone." Reach him at
llf@centurytel.net to share your thoughts on magnificent aloneness.


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